Another attempt at creative writing – all feedback is very welcome!



‘Ring doughnuts. Once pierced by a fat finger and left open, hole unplugged…’
He mused, surrendering.
Crumbs fell into the rough stubble of that lone contemplator.
His palms greasy, sweaty, now emptied of their treasure
And wiped haphazardly on the tablecloth
While amylase does the hard work
Of erasing a memory.

A metro train exchanges passengers with the platform
To the click-clack of suitcase wheels over paving slabs.
Mind the gap is unheeded. What gap?
A girl squeezes in and puts her faith in gravity
Since there is no bar to wrap her hand around.
The door closes.

The man selling Valentine’s cards on the street went home with stock unsold,
And empty pockets.
It was a cold night, and a reminder that
Some hands should hold something
But some gaps are not meant to be filled.

~ Dan

If you didn’t like this poem, what would you prefer to see?
If you think this poem needs improving, tell me why and how.
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All feedback is deeply appreciated!


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